Smartly dressed in a traditional Muslim gown and a brimless cloth hat, a new customer took a seat in the barber’s chair and picked up a copy of The New Light of Myanmar to read as the barber sharpened his scissors to give him a haircut.

“Let’s see what has been going on these last days in our learned government’s standoff with the Rohingya,” the man stated boldly.

The barber stopped for a moment and looked squarely at the Muslim man. “The Rohingya?” he said. “Have you been following the news about the boatpeople?”

"Of course," the customer said. “But I have been upcountry for the past few weeks and didn’t hear any national news. This military government of ours may not be able to export any products, you know. But it can certainly produce exports—human beings!”

The barber smiled wryly and began cutting the man’s hair. “Indeed,” he said.

“This is a diabolical problem,” continued the customer, becoming more animated. “The issue of boatpeople is really an issue of a deteriorating domestic economy. Why else would everyone be running away to other countries?”

“Or sometimes even paddling away in an ice box,” the barber muttered.

“Exactly!” nodded the Muslim.

"Calm down, my friend. Let me cut your hair first," the barber whispered, patting the man on the shoulder.

"Thank you,” he replied. “But don't shave my moustache and my beard. That's part of my Muslim identity."

"Do you think that’s why our consul-general in Hong Kong commented that the Muslim Rohingyas were different in appearance from the typical Burmese?"

“What?” the customer said. “I didn’t know about this. I’ve been out of town for a while. Tell me what happened?”

"He said that the Burmese government has never accepted the Rohingyas as one of the ethnic groups of Burma,” explained the barber. “Then he said that the poor Rohingya boatpeople on the news were—and I quote—as ugly as ogres.”
 
“What!?!” exclaimed the man in the chair, his voice rising. “What a disgusting, racist thing to say. And this is a Burmese diplomat???”

“Yes, very diplomatic indeed,” replied the barber. “Ye Mint Aung is his name. He went on to say that the Rohingya couldn’t be from Myanmar, because they have brown skin and were not—in his words—fair and soft like Burmans.”

"Fair and soft?” exclaimed the Muslim. “What is this guy? A model for skin creams?”

“No, just your average xenophobic Burmese ambassador,” said the barber with a shrug.

“Maybe we should stick him on a boat and cast him adrift for a few weeks and see how fair and soft his skin is after that?” sneered the Muslim.

The barber nodded. “Now I understand why Mr Gambari says he doesn’t get a chance to meet with the government officials," he said.

"Precisely!” cried the customer. “They’re probably too afraid to shake hands with him in case he dirties their soft, fair skin!”

They both laughed for a minute and then fell silent. The barber finished off the man’s haircut.

“I just can’t understand why so many Burmese hate people from Bangladesh and India,” said the barber sadly, shaking his head. "Why can’t we live in harmony just as the Buddha told us?”

“Maybe because the Buddha came from India too,” said the Muslim, and he shook hands with the barber.